We are all loyal to at least one negative view of ourselves. It is the deep negative belief that cognitive therapists speak about or the driving unconscious force from early in life that the dynamically-oriented psychotherapists focus on in their work. Depression often occurs when we have forgotten to love the presence of God in all living things — including, maybe especially, in ourselves.
A spirituality that recognizes we are always special in the eyes of God and that the so-called “specialness-in-the-eyes-of-the-world” is non-existent, or at best, fleeting, helps us to appreciate what failure, rejection, and crisis can teach us. Robert Frost once made the comment: “Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.”
We are very tied to our image, and often we don’t even know it or for that matter appreciate how temporary and illusory trying to hold onto or put faith in our image can be. I remember a small event that happened several years ago which I try to recall anytime I feel myself losing perspective with respect to my own image.
I had been asked by a colleague to give a workshop at a government installation for Veterans’ Administration employees. After a longer drive than I had expected, I arrived at the base feeling a bit annoyed. But all of my annoyance lifted and was replaced by pride when I noticed a large marquee by the front gate which bore the following message in three-foot letters: WELCOME DR. ROBERT WICKS! I thought to myself: “Oh, how I wish I had a camera so I could take a picture of this for my mother.” (Never mind my wife; I regressed all the way back into childhood!) then I drove over to a large theater which looked as though it could hold thousands. As I got out and walked toward the large hall, I thought to myself: “I didn’t realize how famous I was; this important address to such a large group could be my finest hour.” Then when I got inside, there were only twelve people waiting for me to speak. I guess God was trying to keep me and my inflated ego in conversation!
Self-awareness and healthy self-love go hand in hand. If anything, spiritual self-awareness is really a religious way of viewing self-confidence because it is a self-confidence not built on lies we have told ourselves, but on an appreciation of the footprints of God in our own peronality and an understanding of how we often block these footprints from becoming clear to ourselves and others. When we love what God has given us and share it with others naturally and without expectations for gratitude we are truly people who have spiritual self-confidence and compassion; and isn’t that a great way to live?

Dr. Robert J. Wicks is on the faculty of Loyola College of Maryland and author of the books Simple Changes, Sharing Wisdom, and Everyday Simplicity. He can be emailed at [email protected].